Thursday, October 27, 2011

Miracles and Mistakes

Hello Prayer Warriors,

I am in desperate need of a miracle... To keep things as simple as possible, I will start by explaining that my employer, SSD, made a HUGE mistake. In August (when the new school year started), I contacted the Insurance Department to let them know that I was on Long Term Disability and; therefore, I was unable to attend the Beginning of the Year Orientation. I asked a woman in the Insurance/Benefits department to specifically tell me when the GHP (Insurance) plan started and ended for this “plan year” (which has always been different both from the fiscal year and different from the school year). I was told (in writing) that I had 60 Physical Therapy (PT) visits to use until NOVEMBER 1st - the start date of the new plan.

Unfortunately, the woman with whom I spoke was new to the department AND SHE GAVE ME THE WRONG START DATE. When my PT Provider called GHP this week to get Authorization for my PT visits for the month of November, she was denied. GHP told her that the start date is JANUARY 1st, NOT November 1st and that I was out of visits until the new plan started.

Basically, if a miracle does not occur, that means that I will have to go TWO ENTIRE MONTHS without any PT treatments. Currently, I participate in 4 PT appointments each week: 2 strength training and 2 pain-release treatments, which I attend back-to-back twice each week. The PT Team with whom I have been working has been amazing; they have gone above and beyond to work on my body and with all of my restrictions. Against many odds, they have been able to help me achieve a GREAT amount of progress.

Since I started my new Treatment Plan, I have made SO many gains! I have:
- gone from walking 1/10th of a mile to walking up to 2 MILES each day
- I can complete a 30-minute Circuit Training routine several times a week
- my endurance for "activities of daily living" has increased from 20 minutes to 2+ hours at a time
- my pain levels have dropped from an averaged level 8/10 (HORRIBLE) to a a level 4/10 (UNCOMFORTABLE); I have not felt this much pain relief in years!
- I have gained almost all of the weight required of me for my 8-week goal (I am 1 pound away from my first goal-weight)
- I am sleeping throughout the night, rarely waking due to pain
- I can now exercise on a stationary bike AND an elliptical
- I went from using 0-weights to now up to 10 lbs of weight-resistance during my weight-training exercises
- I can walk my dog by myself
- I can clean most of my house without feeling incredible pain afterwards
- I can do some laundry
- I have more energy lately than I have had in years
- My serotonin levels have returned to their original levels, which means that my appetite has increased, my sleep is healthier and my mood has greatly improved
- I have completely stopped taking Narcotics and Gabapentin (the two main medications that my gynecologist told me would harm a baby in my womb if and when Gage and I are ready to get pregnant)
- I have also been able to decrease additional, non-narcotic or controlled pain relievers
- I can sit through an entire church service – my stamina for sitting and standing is improving as my body is getting remarkably stronger
- I can literally see the gains that my Treatment Plan has done for me – physically, emotionally, even spiritually.

Prayer Warriors, I want to share with you an experience I had last week… This is an excerpt from a letter that I wrote to my mother-in-law, Sandy, who has been one of my greatest supporters throughout this journey to healing:

Dear Sandy,

This week, I have been surrounded by opportunities to heal - and to learn about healing. The Women's Group that I met on Wednesday night devoted time for prayer, and I know that my healing was definitely prayed over by the girls throughout the week. Then, my friend Megan called me Saturday morning (after leaving The Journey, our church, for a women's bible study) to tell me that this weekend's service was dedicated to healing. Megan and I have talked several times about whether or not I feel comfortable requesting prayer at the alter-call at a service. Up until this past weekend, I did NOT feel comfortable with it. I can't explain why - but mostly, I can say that I was probably just scared... scared that I would draw more attention to my pain... scared that I wouldn't get better and that my pain would only test my faith... scared to draw attention to myself. That night, Gage and I went to church with not only Megan & her husband Steven, but with our across-the-street neighbors, Jen & Brandon. For some reason, my heart was beating outside of my chest throughout the entire service!

Pastor Darrin talked about the church's stance on healing - The Journey believes that miracles can still happen today, and that healing is one of many gifts that God still gives to believers. He went on to say that not everyone will be healed... Hearing that made me really, really sad. I thought about myself; I thought of my mom's best friend, Gracie (who has known me since birth and who I am very close to) who the doctors are telling us that she doesn’t have much time left here on earth before cancer takes her to heaven... I thought of Danielle's brother, Mark, a 29-year-old, who just had a bone-marrow transplant to help get rid of his cancer... I thought of your (Sandy's) knee injury... I thought of Buzz' heart attack... I thought of my friend, Tara's, back problems... I kept thinking of SO many people whom I wanted God to heal and I was overwhelmed with such SADDNESS thinking of all of the "broken" bodies out there with perfectly good hearts wanting to LIVE LIFE!

But then Pastor Darrin re-defined the need for healing today... He explained that God wants to heal his children. He taught me that I need to keep my faith that I will be healed. Pastor Darrin also taught me that I need to look at EVERY measure of recovery as a way that God has already worked to give me physical peace. He encouraged me to pray over every pill I take, every treatment I receive, every doctor or specialist who places hands on me... I agreed that was my new mission! I will pray over every aspect, pill and person in my life; I will believe that God will use them all to heal me!

After the sermon, Darrin left time for communion and there were many, many elders and prayer leaders available to pray for people who wanted to receive healing. During the sermon, Gage whispered to me that if I wanted to get prayed over, he would go with me. I was so overwhelmed by the sermon and my thoughts that all I could do was nod my head, not committing to one way or another… After communion, I didn't even think - I felt that God was leading me to the alter. Without my knowing it, Gage, Jen & Brandon followed. As I reached the prayer leader, I couldn't talk. Gage told me (later) that God spoke to him and told him that he needed to speak for me when I reached the alter. I didn't even look at Gage, he just extended his hand to the prayer leader to greet him and introduced me, saying, "This is my wife, Stephanie. She has suffered from back pain for many, many years. Last year, she had a spinal fusion surgery and it actually made her pain worse than it was before the surgery. She is currently on disability and she is in pain every day. We are believing for her healing." Before I knew it, I had pairs and pairs of hands placed on my body and I was surrounded by whispers of prayers, loved ones agreeing with the prayer that the church elder spoke aloud. I didn't even try to stop the tears that fell from my eyes, and when the prayer finally ended, I looked to see tears streaming down Jen's face, deep emotion in both Gage & Brandon's eyes and, when we got back to our seats, Megan embraced me in a huge hug, crying just as hard as I was and comforting me with her words. It was one of the most intense experiences I have ever had with the Holy Spirit!

Before that prayer session, I didn't realize myself how alone I feel in this; in my pain and in my circumstance.... I suddenly saw that I have been so caught up in my new PT Boot Camp schedule that most days, I just follow my routine and don't allow much time for either fear or, while I hate to admit it, faith...

As if that wasn't enough, Gage and I had our first Reike appointments on Sunday (the day after the healing prayer). Gage and I made an agreement on the way to the appointments that if, in any way, we felt the treatment was going "against" our Christian beliefs, we would stop our individual treatment and get the other person from his/her treatment, too. We walked into the building and both felt immediately at ease. An older couple, Evelyn and Jim, were scheduled to work on us. In my room, I explained to Evelyn that I was a Christian. I continued to say that what I knew about Reike was that it had some Buddist roots. I politely asked her if she prayed to Budda during the treatment. Before I could ask another question she raised her hands towards heaven, jumped, smiling and clapping, saying, "Honey, I AM A CHRISTIAN!' I use God's diving power and energy to reach you. I am just HIS vessel!" Her testimony really put my mind, body and spirit at ease...

The Reike was amazing! I explained to Evelyn that I, on average, can typically only lay on my back for up to 15 minutes without spasms and having to adjust my body. However, she was able to work on me for the entire 55-minute appointment without one spasm. As soon as the treatment began, I felt immediately connected to God. I went into a DEEP trance, praying in the Spirit and unaware of anything besides the healing that was taking place in my body and the peace that was granted to my mind. It was truly AMAZING!!!

The funny part was that since Saturday, Gage continued to ask me, "Are you healed yet?" "Are you healed yet?" I laughed and told him no, but with Gage's remarkable, innocent belief, I am waiting expectantly for my miracle...


Prayer Warriors, God started something new in me last week. I know, without a doubt, that God wants to heal me. I believe that what I am going through with SSD and my insurance company is the enemy trying to steal that healing from me. I will NOT stand for it and I ask that you take a stance with me!

I am working very closely with my PT Team to try to figure out a way to get authorization to continue my treatments without the two month break. My PT Team honestly told me that if I was forced to go two months without treatment, I would likely regress from all of the progress that we have seen; my body won’t just “sit and wait,” without treatment, I will, undoubtedly, get worse. I cannot physically afford to go backwards in recovery; I cannot face that pain again. However, I cannot financially afford to pay for the full cost of the PT treatments without the help of Insurance. I have come too far for something to stop my healing because of some clerical error!

Please pray that we find a way to continue my Treatment. Please pray that my healing will only continue. Please pray with me that the enemy is bound from my body and from any part of my recovery. Please believe with me that my miracle has started, and that God WILL finish the work he has started in me! If you have any words of encouragement or wisdom, please email or share them with me. I need your love and support more now than ever.

Thank you for your prayers and your love!