An Unfinished Work…

I have been down this road before… many a times, actually. I like to think that God has a “flare for the dramatic,” and as cliché as that sounds, it is the honest truth behind this thought. I have been the girl to hit rock bottom and then, through trial and tribulation, found myself looking down, years later, from a breathtaking view upon a mountain top… I have been the poster child and I have been the instigator, and each time I have been surprised by what God “really” had in store for me—and then I became a true believer in the verse, “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps,” (Proverbs 16:9)


* * * *

My journey towards teaching had been long and grueling. In my last year at college (The University of Missouri-Columbia, aka “Mizzou”), I discovered my true passion. Unfortunately, it was in something other than my major of Communications/Marketing/Management. I had accepted a job as a substitute teacher for Columbia Public Schools while I attended Mizzou and, consequentially, discovered that I had an unmistakable enthusiasm for students and learning. Even though I had spent four years working to become the next-big Advertising Executive, I began looking more forward to the days I spent in the classroom than the internships I held at the Columbia radio station or hours I spent preparing for Marketing pitches.

After I graduated from Mizzou, due to my ability to flexibly work with a multitude of teachers and students, I was offered a Teacher’s Assistant position with the CPS in a Summer School Special Education classroom. Once summer school ended, I, regrettably, moved back to St. Louis; however, within months from graduation I moved back in with my parents, signed up for Teacher’s Education classes at The University of Missouri-Saint Louis (aka “UMSL”) and began the journey towards my God-given destiny: Special Education.

When I started taking classes at UMSL, I was told that I could earn a Teaching Certification for Special Education in a little over a year. However, as I completed each course, I suddenly realized that the Program Completion list grew longer and longer. I talked to the Dean of Education regarding the matter and learned that, even though I had started my Program before UMSL had made its changes to the Certification Syllabus, I was not grand-fathered into my pre-existing commitment. I learned that I a year-long internship had been added to the Program. Despite its deterrence, I agreed to continue with my Plan. As I dove deeper into the Program, I also discovered that if I agreed to take two additional classes over the summer, I would earn a second Bachelor’s Degree. Being that I never did anything half-way, I stayed with the Program; I completed all of the courses, I earned straight A’s and I decided that the second Degree, along with a second Teaching Certification (one in Special Education and another in Elementary Education) was my new mission.

During the first two years that I spent at UMSL, I worked full-time at a bank while taking full-time classes at night. However, as I entered the final year of my teaching degree, I was one of the few, fortunate college students who was hired by a school district and could spend all of those “required” Student-Teaching hours in the classroom, earning a paycheck while earning my degree. I was a teacher’s assistant at a Ferguson-Florissant elementary school and I could whole-heartedly say that I loved my job! Nonetheless, as I finished my final projects, completed my portfolio and waited patiently for graduation, I began the quest for a “real” teaching position.

During the last month of the school year, my supervising teacher, Christy, became engaged—to a man who lived in Ohio. She informed me that she would not be returning to school the following year and that she had already discussed the situation with her superior. She then told me that the (teaching) position was mine if I were interested. “Yes!” I exclaimed. Unfortunately, almost as soon as the words escaped my lips she decided to stay in St. Louis for the year leading up to her wedding; hence, she would be keeping her job. I could; however, remain her assistant for an additional year, then accept her position the following school year.

During that same month, I incidentally had to have surgery on my foot for an injury that I endured while running. I began to weigh my options:

I could keep my job as an assistant and continue to have health insurance as I healed from the surgery...

I could find a teaching job within Special School District (SSD) and my insurance benefits would transfer with me...

Or, I could apply for a teaching position outside of the district and go without insurance for 90 days…

I kept all options open and prayed that God would lead me to my fate.

Weeks passed, then months, and before long I had been on several interviews but I had not accepted nor received any “worthwhile” teaching positions. I was panicked! Summer was coming to an end and Christy wanted to know my intentions for the upcoming school year. Having worked for the district for several years, she knew that it was very likely I would receive a job offer after the school year began—which would leave her without an assistant. A highly-qualified candidate (who had a Master’s Degree in teaching) was interested in my assistant-position, yet was not eligible until I resigned, and would not be available if I waited to resign after the school year started because she was also wanted at several schools. It was quickly becoming decision-time, yet I did not have a solution—or even a compromise for the situation!

I had been in contact with the Human Resources department for SSD and explained my case to the Director of HR. She advised me to keep my assistant position—for the health insurance—and to quit when they could match me with an appropriate teaching position, even if that meant quitting my job as an assistant after the school year began. She did not seem to care that I would be leaving Christy – the woman who taught me everything she new about teaching, sacrificed personal time to help me with my college assignments and mentored me throughout the entire past year – in a compromised position if I committed to a year as her assistant, knowing that I would leave as soon as I found my “bigger and better” teaching job.

On Tuesday, I was informed that I had to make my decision by Friday. On Friday I hand-delivered my letter of resignation to the HR Director. Without opening the envelope, she said, “Stephanie, I cannot believe that you made this decision.” I remained silent. “Do you have a minute?” She asked me. “Yes,” I said. “Can you wait out in the hall while I make a phone call?” I nodded. As I sat on the uncomfortable chair just outside her office I had no idea what this woman was thinking. “Stephanie, you can come in,” she called to me from behind her desk. “I called an Area Coordinator in the Webster Groves School District and left her a message to call you for an interview. Hopefully she hasn’t filled the position.” I thanked her for making the phone call and began to make my exit when the director of Human Resources said to me, “And Stephanie,” I turned to face her, “I really admire your decision.”

I then knew that my career was out of my hands, so I graciously handed it over to God. “Lord, you put this passion for teaching inside of me. You inspired and willed me to go back to college for another three years—earning two Teaching Certifications and even working at the Ferguson-Florissant Elementary school. I know that this is Your Will, and I know that You will not leave anything un-finished that You have started. God, I give this entire situation to you….”

The next morning, on a Saturday, I received a phone call from the Webster Groves Area Coordinator. “Can you come in for an interview on Monday?” she asked me. “Yes,” I said immediately, not even asking when or where the interview was to be held.

After the interview, I could not contain myself; I wanted the position so badly! Bristol Elementary School needed a Special Education Resource Teacher. I knew that Webster Groves was a coveted school district for one to be employed. I also knew that a Resource Teacher position was one in which a teacher usually had to “due her time” in other, more “challenging” classrooms to earn. I also knew that the odds were against me, being a first-year teacher far from the South County area. However, my car had not yet reached the highway after leaving Bristol when the Area Coordinator called my cell phone and asked me if I would accept the position. “Yes!” I practically screamed into the phone.

Two days later, God blessed me with a second phone call—this one from the HR Director. “Stephanie, I am shredding your letter of resignation. Since you accepted the Resource Teaching position I am going to put you into the system as a transfer,” she paused as I began realizing what she was saying, “This means that you do not lose any insurance benefits.”

I knew that God had honored my decision to stand up for what is right for ALL, not just myself; and, because of that, He had not only delivered me my dream job, He had provided care for my body as it continued to heal from foot surgery.

* * * *

I began my first degree of study at the University of Missouri-Columbia (MU) in 1998. In 2002, I graduated with a BA in Communications – Marketing, Management and Public Relations. I studied everything from gender differences in Communications to advertising and business management. As much as I loved the field of Communications, the Lord had a different plan for me.

During my senior year at MU, I was presented with an opportunity to be a substitute teacher for Columbia Public Schools. From the first day I stepped foot into a classroom, God spoke to my heart and told me, “This is where you belong.” Even though I knew that my destiny would quickly change, I finished my degree at MU. Six months after graduation, I began my pursuit to become a teacher at the University of Missouri-St. Louis.

While in Columbia, I was introduced to Special Education. At first, I refused to accept any positions in a Special Education classroom. I said “no” out of fear. However, God quickly reminded me that I have nothing to fear in Him; then He made it impossible for me to refuse any longer. After my first day in a Special Education classroom, I knew that God gave me the heart to serve children with disabilities.

I received a Bachelor’s Degree in Special Education in 2006 (along with certification in both Special Education grades K-12 and General Education grades 1-6th). God honored my faithfulness to return to school by blessing me with a position within Special School District as a Resource Teacher in one of the top 10 districts in St. Louis, where I have been working ever since.


* * * *

I was living my dream... However, after this past Spring Break, the Break that ended up turning into a nightmare instead of a vacation, my doctors decided that I needed to take some time off of work. Because my Intermittent, Short-Term Disability is due to run out at the end of May, the Human Resource’s Department advised me to pursue Long Term Disability. When I first had this discussion, rather, when I first asked my doctor if I should look into LTD, without blinking her eyes, she said, “Yes.” However, I could not accept her answer that easily. Gage and I made an appointment with his family’s Primary Care Physician. After reviewing my medical records and personal history, he, too, without hesitation told me to apply for LTD. As if those two confirmations were not enough, I went on to ask my Physical Therapist and my Pain Management Specialist their opinions. “Yes” and “Yes” they said. A week later, Gage and I began the paperwork for approval for Long Term Disability.

I have learned that LTD takes around 45 business days to finalize its approval. Because I had started the process during the last week of March, I was hoping that I could be one of the “lucky ones” to learn of my approval sooner; however, after a phone call to the company last week, and learning that I had weeks of waiting, I decided to call my Human Resources Department again. Because they had already been helping me complete paperwork for Short-Term Disability throughout this entire year, they were eager to help me with the LTD process. The only problem was; however, that I could not officially receive a Leave-of-Absence from SSD until July, 30 days before the start of the school year. This upset me, because I wanted to display the courtesy to my colleagues, my Team and my friends that there is a great likelihood that I will not return to my teaching position for this next school year.

Finally, this week, I informed my school building that I am awaiting approval for LTD and will, realistically, not return in the Fall.

* * * *

I admit, this change-of-events has definitely shaken me; for I thought that when God called me to be a Teacher, He meant for me to do this for the rest of my life… However, I am reminded that He has not failed me; God did not let me pacify my life with a passion-less career; He did not let me mollify my marriage with a mediocre husband; He will not disable my body without a hope and a way for healing… I just pray that this “break” – this Long Term Disability – is His Way towards my miracle…