RESTORING HOPE

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all,” (Dale Carnegie).

After about a month of preparation, we finally had our Team Meeting at my Rehab Facility. Around the table sat: my regular PT, Nancy, Dr. Julie (the Facility President and my first PT), Mark (the Vice President and my Pain/Biofeedback Counselor), Gage (my husband) and myself. I came with a page filled with questions and a mountain of prayers; however, I had no clue what to expect. Even with clueless expectations, I do not think that anything could have prepared me for what happened next…

Nancy sat to my left and passed out two pages to the Team: one was an Agenda and the other was a list of six goals for me to accomplish over the next eight weeks. As we discussed each point, Gage sat to my right, intensely taking notes. I went into the meeting hoping for clarification more than anything. The summer had led the Team (including me) to a stalemate and, mostly, I wanted to know: who was In Charge of me (aka my Case Manager), what were my Treatment Goals and how would my Treatment Plan be reevaluated to show whether I was making progress? Needless to say, I received much more than a little clarification at the meeting; what Nancy and the Team handed me was the Ultimate Plan for Extreme Recovery.

We easily soared through the clarifying questions. Nancy will assume the role as my Case Manager, as she sees me twice weekly; however, Julie will see me every-other-month to conduct an FCE (Functional Capacity Evaluation) in which she will administer the first one in a week to gather baseline data and then compare each FCE that follows against the first, and previous, to monitor progress. (As the former Data Team Leader at my old job, this information was music to my ears!)

Additionally, I was told that I would be required:
- To keep a Pain Log that recorded my activity and pain level EVERY TWO HOURS. I am to log this information daily for the next four weeks. The Team explained that by doing this log, I will be helping them determine the function of my pain, my triggers, and my levels of endurance (and pain) during activities.
- To keep an Exercise Log that will hold me accountable to complete the given PT exercises daily to ensure that I am adhering to the Treatment Plan outside of the Rehab Facility.
- To gain 5 lbs over the next eight weeks; to do so, I am required to keep a Food Log and show it to Nancy every few days so that she can see that not only am I eating more calories each day, but that the calories are coming from healthy foods. The Team explained to me that I am very much underweight and this is a detriment to the Treatment Plan. Right now, my body is “eating my muscle for energy, as I have no fat left for it to use.” This is extremely counter-productive, as the purpose of treatment is to GAIN MUSCLE; without it, my body will not be able to rehabilitate.
- Starting October, I will be adding weekly Biofeedback Therapy to my regimen. Mark would like to teach me to better recognize my muscle-activity and how to control the over-use of muscles; he will also use these strategies to instruct me in multiple ways to manage my pain without medication.

I agreed to the above logs & Biofeedback, even though I knew that they would take some time to get used to completing them and to stick to their guidelines; then Nancy proceeded with some tremendous expectations:
- In addition to my PT exercises at home, I am to start adding extra exercises to my list while I am at the Rehab Facility. I will start next week by going to the Facility early and riding on the stationary bike for 10 minutes prior to my PT appointments. However, the Team would like for me to constantly add-on to these extra exercise; they want me to build-up to coming to the facility daily to do these additional exercises, and each week, they would like to add to the exercises. (To break this down, in addition to my 3 sets of at-home PT exercises, which take a total of 45 minutes daily to accomplish, and the 1 mile each day that I am currently walking, I will also be working-out at the Rehab Facility several times each week, if not daily, possibly working out up to 2 hours each day).
- (LONG-TERM GOAL:) Following the above program, by THIS SPRING or THIS SUMMER, the Team would like to see me spending 2-4 HOURS EACH DAY at the Facility (in addition to my PT appointments and at-home exercise plan). They explained to me that it would be like a simulated Vocational-Rehabilitation program, for how can they accurately determine my stamina for returning to the workplace if they do not see how much I can endure on a daily basis?

The last two parts of the program were the most overwhelming to me for many reasons. First, I have been told my so many physicians and surgeons that I would NOT be able to return to work NOR would I “get better” that it is enormously difficult to imagine that my tired, aching body would actually be able to attain such lofty goals. Second, THEY BELIEVED IN ME! The Team continued to believe in me even when I gave up on myself. I did not think that I would EVER be able to put in that much effort into a day’s span ever again, but The Team believes that I can – and they are willing to work very hard with me every step of the way to see that progress is made and that rehabilitation will be a reality for me. Yes, it will take a considerable amount of time and effort on my part, not to mention dedication and a severe mind-shift; and no, 2-4 hours each day is not full-time, but it is at least a start. This is the start of the rest of my life…

When Gage and I returned home after the meeting, I was still in shock. I was still in the “I cannot possibly do ALL of those things” phase. However, Gage showed me another side – he said that the meeting gave him hope. He said that hearing their goals for me made him believe that I could achieve them, that I could get at least “a little better” than I am now. Gage promised to help me every step of the way, even if it meant helping out more around the house if I put in a “long day” at the Facility, exercising at home with me when I had to do my daily routines and sacrificing financially so that I can attend all of the PT appointments ahead; Gage even signed up to the online Fitness Website that I found to log my daily calories so that I didn’t feel like I was “all alone” in my tasks.

With so many people believing in me, it’s hard not to start having faith in myself, too! Most importantly, I was reminded that God hadn’t forgotten me. For so long, I had felt left behind… I had felt as if all of my faith had gotten me “nowhere” and that I was a “broken” human being. Yesterday, with so much hope surrounding me, I was reminded that God has a plan for everyone – and he will use anyone he can to carry his plan out.

Nancy’s exact goals for the next eight weeks for me are:
1. Stephanie will be consistent with keeping a daily pain log to monitor pain and activities.
2. Stephanie will be independent in her home exercise program, completing her exercises three times a day.
3. Stephanie will have a good understanding and show good judgment with pacing activities and have a good activity to rest balance.
4. Stephanie will be independent in her nutrition and have a caloric intake of 2000-2400 calories/day for adequate weight gain of 5lbs.
5. Stephanie will understand the importance of adequate sleep for a good rehab potential and get at least 8 hours (8-10) of sleep per night.
6. Stephanie will be independent with an exercise program at The Facility that she initially performs before or after therapy, with time increasing as she tolerates and therapist determines.

Friends, loved ones, believers, please pray with me that I will accomplish these goals. Right now, more than ever, I need your strength and encouragement. Thank you for not giving up on me; thank you for your hope.