I Survived!

I was so touched by the responses I got in regards to your prayers and your encouragement as I prepared for the PT Reevaluation this week. Thankfully, it went very, VERY well!

I showed up at The Facility in a great deal of physical pain and exhausted due to the change in meds. One look at me and The President and my Case Manager (CM) said, “We can’t test you today! That would be human cruelty!” They laughed, I smiled and realized that I was holding my breath, so I sighed in relief, and we all walked together into one of the patient rooms.

I handed them the update that I had created, explaining to The Facility all of the changes in my medication, along with the Pain Doc’s Recommendations and Diagnosis. The President asked me how I was feeling. Before I answered, she said, “Let me guess, nauseous, exhausted, jittery, feel like your skin is crawling & like you are losing your mind…” I nodded my head ‘YES’ to all of the above.

“What about your pain?” CM asked.

“Well, I actually have been feeling like I have the flu, because of the medicine, so I cannot tell if my pain is better or not yet...” I felt stupid, but both CM and the President nodded their heads in understanding, as if it made sense, so I felt better.

CM had to leave to see another patient, but The President stayed with me for over an HOUR. We discussed how to best detox off of my medicine and help my body better adjust to the new meds. She validated that she agreed with the Pain Doc's choice in medication. She explained that, “A person who has chronic pain builds up a tolerance to medication, so a good doctor recognizes when his patient is at that point and helps the patient switch to another medication that will better manage the pain.” Makes sense.

We discussed The Pain Doc’s New Diagnosis (to be revealed to my Blog Readers soon, I promise). She agreed.

She then said, “I will complete the forms that your Disability Provider needs that says that: Stephanie was unable to complete the Evaluation today due to severe acute pain. [And] Stephanie was unable to remain static positioning during the appointment." (I was unable to sit still the entire time; so The President started documenting HOW often I “squirmed” so that she could use it for “observable data” confirming that I require restrictions when it comes to maintaining positions for extended periods of time).

Reevaluation Complete! She did NOT make me even try one activity! I survived! Through my pain, I was not asked or expected to do anything AND the visit was still documented as an evaluation. Thank you, Lord!!!!

Then, we discussed faith.
The President said, “Stephanie, I survived cancer, which I had for 10 years. THAT will take the narcosis out of anyone!” She laughed and continued, “The Bible doesn’t say, “I will make you sick and this is my plan for you,” the Bible says that God will BE BY YOUR SIDE – through WHATEVER you are going through. Tears filled my eyes. It was refreshing to talk to The President like this. We spent another ten minutes just talking about faith and life.

THIS was the woman whom I had met a year and a half ago. THIS is the reason I decided to stay at The Facility. THIS is what makes The Facility “different” than other PT places in which I have gone. The staff, despite our few bumps, knows ME. They know what I need to hear – and what will encourage me to keep going. They want me to get better. They know me as a person, not just as a patient.

For those of you reading this – Thank you for your prayers! Before I went to the appointment, I sat down and just bowed my head. I gave the visit to God and prayed that I would get through it… He listened. I am not healed. I am still going through a rough time, physically and emotionally, but at least I know that my friends, my family, and God are with me.

For those of you reading this who also experience chronic pain, I encourage you to think about The President's reminder: God is With YOU!

I have one last appointment with my Primary Care Physician next week. After that visit, I will share with you the consensus of the New Diagnosis and what our (me and Gage’s) next steps are. Keep Reading – I promise to share more soon!